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… it’s good cause then you realize, none of all these stupidities everyone here wants, really mattered. partying never mattered, fancy clothes, making a big deal about how your hair is done, huge & expensive armored cars, summers at the beach in Miami, having a beautiful body, nice hair… you realize all this was BULLSHIT; that all this was going nowhere, a big nasty pile of POINTLESS time-wasting crap! Now you have to open up your eyes and face reality with all it’s details and find a way to compress years of growing up into these 35 seconds, that changed everything. You can’t think the same way you used to, you’re not allowed to have the same priorities as you did before… Now you know what really counts in life… loving your brother more than anything, having the people you care about close to you… or simply being alive, being able to eat, sleep,… nothing else. Now you see what it is to live in insecurity… to have doubts on how tomorrow’s gonna be, to feel the ground shaking at anytime (the shaking even woke you up once.), to hear about dead people everyday,… banks that are closed, schools also… This is driving you crazy right?! You’re becoming paranoïd, you can’t go in the dark alone, you cry for no reasons… wait, but you do have reasons, all this crying results from these horrible images: destroyed favellas, people crying, trucks piling up thousands of corpses in huge pits… and this happening now. That’s why you’re afraid of the dark… cause you feel like all this is surrounding you as soon as you turn off the light. It’s been nine days… it’s getting worse. The more time passes, the more i have to deal with the fact that this reality won’t go away… yup. it’s not a dream.

11 Comments

  1. It will get better… it’ll maybe never go away, but it’ll get better. Take it easy on yourself… This was beautifully written and so true. Keep up the good work on all fronts!

  2. Your expressions here are nothing short of powerful. Moving even.

  3. Oh Yaël. On pleure avec toi parce qu’on ne peut QUE pleurer avec toi, en te lisant. Fanny a raison : il will get better. Et tu contribues à ce que ça aille mieux, en nous faisant savoir ce qui se passe, en sensibilisant tous les gens à qui à notre tour nous envoyons le lien vers tes mots.
    Continue d’écrire. Pour toi. Pour nous. Pour les autres, qui ne peuvent pas nous écrire. Continue à nous dire. À nous secouer de ce bien-être qui du coup devient inacceptable. Il nous faut bouger, parce que TU NOUS OBLIGES À BOUGER en écrivant.
    Et Jules a raison: ton écriture est puissante, et émouvante. Continue, garde courage et foi. Chacun de nous ne peut faire que ce qu’il peut, mais ce que tu fais – écrire, raconter, toucher les gens – est UTILE et NECESSAIRE. Tu n’es pas sans pouvoir. Tu es utile. Tu aides. Tes mots, ton émotion, ta vérité, ton énergie, ton authenticité, nous sont nécessaires. Je t’embrasse fort,
    Rafa

  4. Yaël,
    Cela fait plusieurs jours que je vous suis sur votre blog et sur Twitter et je suis chaque fois plus surprise quand à la force de ce que vous dites, je crois que malgré les doutes et les craintes, avec une jeunesse comme vous Haïti va se remettre sur pied car vous êtes et serez sa force.
    Kimbé rèd pa lagé!!

  5. It makes even me think about what matters. I mean, I usually complain about all these people around me doing party a lot, drinking alcohol etc. I usually try to talk about politics, help other people, wanna change the world in the future.

    Yet, maybe even this doesn’t matter at all. But why should family then matter more? I saw a report about a monk in Japan and he did not care about his family at all, he said he did not feel like he wants to talk to his mother. Instead, he did a difficult religious task: He walked, I think 40.000km, between 40–80km each night.

    It’s difficult to tell what really matters, isn’t it? In your case now it’s essential stuff like food, security, family. Maybe it all comes back to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, in which I am trying to reach the top level and you fell back to the lower ones.

  6. Nice Yael!!!!

  7. Keep writing – it will help you heal. Know that in Winnipeg, Canada, my two kids, husband and I are praying and seeking ways in which we can help. For always and in all ways.

  8. I’m so, so sorry that this has happened to you. I know it’s not much help but the thoughts and prayers of the whole of the UK are with you and your country. And we’ll keep donating, as much as we possibly can.

  9. Beautiful written and powerfully moving personal accounts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

  10. Hello,

    I am interested in contacting you about sharing your story for a radio programme based in Amsterdam. Can you email me mignon.aylen@rnw.nl.

    Your writing and storytelling is fantastic. Hope to hear from you.
    M

  11. Voila, nous voulons que ca change. Malheureusement, ilss ne sont pas tous comme toi. Crie, ecrit, racontes, pense, peut-etre que ta voix les reveilleront… Et surtout ne presente aucunes excuses, car tu dis ce que nous tous aurions du dire. Garde la tete haute. Tu as mieux compris que les plus vieux d’entre nous.


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  1. By uberVU - social comments on 22 Jan 2010 at 7:06

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by yatalley: Blogpost: Face it, its real – https://impurple.wordpress.com/2010/01/22/its-not-a-dream-face-it-its-real/

  2. […] her following post entitled “it’s not a dream… face it: it’s real“, Krizkadiak explains how this horrible event has altered their perspective about everyday […]

  3. […] VAI AL POST DI YAEL —>>> Pubblicato in Terremoto Aquila. Tag: Abruzzo, Aquila, Barack Obama. USA. America, Buongiorno, Camera, caritas, caritas donazioni, cei, cei donazioni, Che tempo che fà, Democratici, donazioni terremoto, Gramellini, haiti, Il Centro, La Stampa, L’AQUILA, Massimo Gramellini, offerte terremoto, Painful Thoughts, port-au prince, Protezione civile, RAINEWS24, Senato, Terremoto, Terremoto Aquila, vigili del fuoco. Lascia un commento » […]

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