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i hate hate hate being sick. cause then being sick makes you hate everything else, i hate flowers today i hate smiles, i hate smells and i hate cars. i hate rain… i hate hating. i should start liking stuff like these people who are always smiling do. them people are just plain weird… or just annoying. they do their best to make you feel like they’re head & shoulders above you… but but… i’ m still hating. ugh. i guess it’s because i’m sick. someone told me once, that i feel like that, i should try to find something really beautiful and just talk about it… so… uhm… something beautiful… well, i like the fact that the world is so huge (even though facebook and haiti are making you feel like everyone’s very close to you and that there are no strangers…). Last summer, at a bus stop, there was that lady sitting next to me. There was no one else at the bus stop besides us,… and she started telling me about herself, suddenly, out of friggin’ nowhere… that she was at her friend’s house the night before, that she couldn’t believe the way that friend was acting that night… blah blah,… i sat and listened… she could’ve been telling me her greatest secrets… we both knew that 3 minutes after we wouldn’t even remember each other’s face. & in that same bus, i enjoyed starring at all these people i didn’t know… as if they were a boring movie that i was gonna forget as soon as it would end. i think the fact that there are so many people i don’t know is beautiful. it gives me hope… i don’t have to live with the certitude that everyone’s stupid… yea… whoa… here i am hating again.

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